It's nearly February and for the most part the weather has been unusually mild thus far. One snow, a couple short stretches of bitter cold, but all in all - not bad. Just today I was out in a sweatshirt with my 1.5 year old kicking around his mini soccer ball. Spring like! Yay.
A few years ago my wife and I bought a van. It was a total God-send. We had a newborn baby, my wife was staying home, I was commuting 30 minutes and it just made no sense to leave her car-less. Driving me to work everyday felt too much like middle school when I constantly had to bum rides from my Mom - usually when I missed the bus by 3 minutes.
The Van has been great. We had 1000 bucks. We asked a mechanic friend to be on the lookout for something coming in that looked good and was in good shape. He said that never happens, but ok.
I kid you not - 2 day later an old lady shows up with a 1990 Voyager: 91,000 miles, in great shape, No mechanical problems...etc. She says to our friend "Do you know anyone who wants to buy my van? I just drive it to church on Sundays and I'd like to get around $1000 dollars for it." Main reason she's selling; "it's a little to high for me to get into very well anymore."
We picked it up that night.
The lady was sweet and thrilled that we were so excited about it. We were grateful that barely prayed prayers had been answered. Suddenly and weirdly cool.
The one drawback is this: The van has no heat. On particularly cold days it's brutal. I've been an unhappy combination of too poor/too cheap to get it fixed. I drive that one in the winter. The fam won't get near it.
I'm quite a sight on the highways. Really. I look like Kenny from SouthPark. (please don't watch that show) I look like I'm trekking to the north pole, with just my eyes showing from an enormous puffy coat.
Several of my senses become muted, or mooted. (not a word) I'm practically deaf. Less protected portions of my body become uncomfortably numb. I have zero peripheral vision. Sometimes I just pull my hood back a little to see if I'm about to cut someone off. On really cold days I don't. (sorry)
But - it's Pennsylvania. It will not always be cold. I'm grateful for the van, but I don't treat it so well. Not like our Jetta, which we paid nearly new prices for. So, I do wonder if there is some kind of inverted principle at work here.
Jesus once told a story to illustrate love and gratitude. Who loves more? Someone forgiven a little bit, or someone forgiven enormously? Great story, but convicting.
I can't help but wonder if I would take better care of the gift-van if I had paid 10,000 for it rather than 1000. This makes me worry about my own gratitude level. The van was quite a gift, but I don't always see it this way. I often think - well, we don't need to do XX for the van - we only paid 1000 for it.
Why is it that I still remain most concerned about the things that have the most benefit to me? It's as if my response is dictated by my perception of return and investment. How much do I do that with my relationships? My parents? My wife? My kid? What about systems that I've benefited from? Schools, teachers, pastors? What about God?
I am pretty sure that I am called to a different economy. It's hard, but its true. I'm called the be other centered. To be compassionate with friends and enemies. To care for others in need. Help the orphans, the widows. To be a giver, not a taker.
If I'm too wrapped up in what I can afford, or what is helping me - I'll miss the point. I'll miss the sweetest portions of life. I want to live as a grateful person. A giver. That's hard sometimes.
Right not my son treats every little gift we give him as if we have given him the whole world. We hand him a wooden spoon to play with, and he's THRILLED. He wears those expressions right there for us to see, and that response thrills us. We love giving him good gifts because he really appreciates it. He beams and it is our delight and joy.
For me as an 'adult' I forget that - on both ends.
On the receiving end - I can be genuinely glad, grateful and overjoyed that people and God give me gift of all kinds. How cool it is to be a recipient of someone else's good will and kindness.
On the giving end - I want to have that effect on people. Bring them joy and gladness. Be the giver of good will and kindness.
It seems to me that if I do one well, I'll be likely to do both pretty well. One feeds the other.
So, me, quit playing down the gifts. Get excited and grateful over how good people are to you. Let that spark your desire to do things to make others glad. Even if I don't get the heat the van fixed, I need to make sure my little heart is the one body part that doesn't become cold.
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